Her Cycles

photo by Luis Machado on Unsplash

Welcome Community of my Heart….this post is a result of my musings about aging. If you like what you read, I would love it if you would click the ‘like’ button. Check out ‘Notes’ on my main page too!

Her Cycles

Every 7 years I pass through a reiteration, a new phase of my life beginning. It is not of my making that I travel away from myself and into a new frontier. It happens at Her direction and pace. The most recent juncture was 2021 when I emerged from 2 years of intense solitude into a flowering of thoughts and words and found a new path as a writer, a real writer. That would make the next iteration happen in 2028. Looking at my life from another angle, I took YTT, Yoga Teacher Training at Kripalu when I was 48, and began my journey as a writer through publishing an essay when I was 68. In 2028 I will be 75. I see a cycle of empowerment coming my way, and I must prepare.

I am not old now, and yet I feel the whispers of aging intensifying along the banks of my life. No one is talking about this, no one is writing books about this, and those of us perched on the threshold of elderhood often feel lost in our society.

Yesterday we bought a new dishwasher. And, I thought, “I might never buy another dishwasher.” Not that that is a tragedy, it is a marker telling me that life as I live it today is on the path to transforming into something completely different. Someone else will be washing the dishes, somebody else will drive me to a doctor’s appointment and so, I’ll have to create new experiences, new excitements.

As applied to health, I am feeling less able to do things around the house. I don’t have the strength I used to have. A hiatal hernia keeps me from lifting heavy items. I have food issues, or I tire easily or my knee hurts. And then I wonder what is coming along that’s going to limit my life even more. Will I still be able to walk to the library to pick up a book, or get down on my knees to plant flowers in my garden?

When my aunt had to give up driving because she mistook the accelerator for the brake pedal and hit her doctor’s office and the Bentley next to her, she had to ride the ‘jitney’ with the other old ladies to do her shopping. She complained about her seat companion’s bad breath and the limited selection of stores on the route. A severe curtailment of her treasured freedom.

So often elders are made fun of as a crabby granny ‘just’ knitting on the porch, or a curmudgeonly grandpa griping about the noisy grandkids. This marginalization and lack of appreciation for their intelligence and life experience reduces their value in society and truthfully, inside themselves. Is this really what we want for beloved parents and grandparents? Or for ourselves? Because we are just a step away from this sad situation.

I think we need a movement, a revolution in how we value our older citizens. It’s not just playing card games with them at the senior center, it’s mining their life experience, their time-tested experience with everything life throws at us. They are waiting for us to ask them about their lives. How about we start today, in our family or circle of friends and begin the conversation with an elder? Write it down, post it on Substack or Facebook or send it to a newspaper. Ask them about their greatest accomplishment. Their greatest fear, regret, joy, and piece of advice. Why are these their ‘greatests’? What is the hardest thing they had to learn? When did they feel proud of themselves? Do they have secrets? Do they have aspirations, and goals still and what are they? What do they want to do today? Next week, next year? Who is their best friend? Why? What happens inside them when they hear their favorite music? Who is their favorite writer? What makes them laugh? You get the picture.

My next iteration is coming along in 2 years…..I will be watching for a shift in the wind, a scent of growth that signals a new life