Shard

Dunnottar Castle in Aberdeenshire, Scotland-a memory I’ll never forget

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This essay is in response to Beth Kempton’s Soul Circle topic this past week-Shard, as in a shard of memory

What interests me about memories isn’t what the memory is about, but what it elicits when it arises in my mind. Watch this---

The scent of my grandmother’s linen closet…the labyrinthine halls of the second floor in her house where I played with my dolls, creating towns and homes for them around the corners….and then, how I recently had the chance to tour her home which the present owner had bought from my grandmother in 1967. It was so unchanged that I had no trouble remembering making apple pies with my Gram at the kitchen stove and playing made-up songs on the piano next to the fireplace in the living room.

Having no anxiety about speaking to the congregation at my UU church in PA…I spoke once about the Christmas pageant my young friend shared with me from her church when life had served up a devastating experience to me and I was struggling to find my center. Seeing real animals and beautifully dressed kings, and hearing the male angel’s voice tell us the story of the Nativity brought me to my knees in gratitude for her true friendship….and seeing this friend years later, a mature woman with a family of her own, guiding her children around tidal pools at the beach….and then celebrating our anniversary/birthdays with family and friends, knowing she is both so I asked her to be in our family photo to commemorate the day.

Watching my oldest son, a five-year-old tyke at the time, disembark from his first school bus ride like he’d been doing it every day….and listening to him being quizzed on all the information about the newest plane he’ll be piloting…..

Looking at photos of some of the AFS students we’ve hosted over the years…..and choking up as I remember the 2 AM quiet at Pine Manor College, and then hearing the rumble of the bus as it enters the campus. It is carrying starlit teenagers ready for the experience of their lives. I am privileged to be one of their guides at the gates of this venture….the grace and the grit of our 11 year-long hosting experiences that have taught me more than any other relationship I have participated in….and all those countries and all the growth these kids have attained through the years: marriage, parenthood, careers. I am grateful for having a part in it all.

There are so many shards of memory…..having arrived by scent, sound, touch, or taste…..the smell of the newly unfrozen soil in spring, the weight of my mother’s Christmas tree ornaments as I lift them from their tissue paper wrappings…the rustle of fallen leaves as I walk through them in my garden. This backdrop of our lives, built of filament, mist, and a thought-tickle… this is the foundation for our particular contributions to the state of our world: perfectly imperfect, light and dark, echoing our steps here from each moment of our lives.

Where have your memories taken you lately. I’d love to hear where you’ve been.