Touch

Image by Yoann Boyer on Unsplash

“Too often we underestimate the power of touch.” Leo Buschglia

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The touch of a hand when you’re feeling lost and confused can bring comfort and a sense of belonging, as it did for me at my mother’s memorial service. Fresh from the hospital room where she died, my first home gone, that touch drew me back to the celebration of her life on that rainy spring day in 1984. Many hugs and close embraces kept me present and feeling loved. How essential touch is to our survival, personally and as a species. I cannot forget those moments of love.

I investigate touch as it occurs every day in my life: rough tree bark as I toil in my garden, cold ice cream on my lips, the sensation of clothes upon my skin, the sun warming my face as I sit on the step in winter. Solid, soft, warm, chilly-so many sensations: my hands resting on my legs in easy pose, garden soil sifting between my fingers as I plant herbs, soft cashmere, the ocean’s startlingly cold water numbing my feet, holding my babies for the first time, the ‘let down’ sensation when breastfeeding.

The Divine Feminine gifts us with delight communicated through our senses, touch being the most powerful. Sticky, slimy, light, rough, ones that bring back memories like holding my friend’s baby and I have a visceral memory of holding my own….heavy and light at the same time. How my touch conveys safety to my dog when he’s having a seizure, and holding hands with my husband calms my mind. The sensation of my knitting yarn as it passes through my fingers on its way to becoming a new sweater, walking on crumbling autumn leaves and touching soft magnolia blossoms as I walk past.

There are uncomfortable touches too: the cold toilet seat in winter, the prick of a needle when I’m having blood drawn, the sting of an angry bee. These still serve to awaken us to the glorious world around us though. Some days I would be happy to have these sensations-those days devoid of excitement or pleasure, the ones that drag you down to the depths of your soul. Do you know what I am talking about? I’ve had many of those desperate days. And from now on I will appreciate all that touches me. All the sadness & glory, all the encompassing confusion & worry, the fear & apprehension, because I can feel the soft velvet of my dog’s ear, or the sweet relief of sinking into soft sheets at the end of the day. All is communicated through my skin and appreciated by my heart.